Sexual Violence Support

The toughest step after experiencing sexual violence is taking the first step: accepting that it really happened. Many victims, including myself, have gone through a period of denial as a coping mechanism because of how rough the trauma of the experience is on the brain. It can manifest itself as believing it was a dream or hallucination, but like many coping mechanisms, it is harmful and can affect how you view your experience, and it can alter the healing experience.

I was sexually abused by a close family member from childhood to early adolescence, and unfortunately, then sexually trafficked by someone who I trusted as a friend. Living with this trauma on my shoulders hasn’t been easy and took years to acknowledge, and even now is difficult to write out. But with support from close friends and family, I was able to face my abusers and accept what happened in order to heal for my child, current, and future self.

As victims, we are conditioned by our abusers to keep quiet about the abuse and even manipulated to think otherwise of the situation. And out of fear, many unfortunately become vulnerable to a cycle of abuse because of poised danger. Many victims who have been sexually abused in the past are at risk for recurred sexual violence.

While being sexually trafficked, I constantly was fed the same lie: It was an act of love. This manipulation tactic messed with my head for years afterwards, and led me down a path of self-destruction because of the belief that I was sick in the head for even thinking my ‘friend’ would ever harm me. Self-harm, addiction, and sexual self-injury are common destructive behaviours victims exhibit as their brain tries to make an understanding of what may have happened to them; these acts can show up immediately after the abuse or years further down the line. It is no representation of their true thoughts or wants, because when traumatised, the brain is clouded and often trying to come up with resolutions in order to ‘fix’ what happened or to justify it.

There is no ‘perfect victim’.

With the proper resources and support, I was able to seek professional assistance and am now 8+ into the healing process. I am able to healthily cope with my abuse, and can validate myself as a victim. Accepting my sexual abuse happened was agonising, but being able to acknowledge that I was wronged has allowed me to sprout back into myself after living as the mould my abusers created. It is liberating.

How you cope and feel is okay, and there will be an end to it even if it isn’t tomorrow. Acceptance is rough, but anything is possible with willpower to break the cycle and put an end to fear. The process is scary, and hope is foreign to the hopelessness many of us victims become used to, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Taking the first step may be difficult, but with the proper support, healing is possible.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673)

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)